The season has a reason.

This week we had the privilege of studying the book of Revelation. The students are finishing and turning in their assignment today, then we have a lecture on Proverbs Wednesday and a few things Thursday then it is Christmas Break! We are so close to being done for the semester and it’s the perfect time for a much needed vacation.

I love that we do Revelation right before Christmas because the story is all about Jesus. Revelation is a book that describes the revelation of Jesus Christ that God blessed John the apostle with. I feel like studying it in December reminds us of the purpose of the season we are in. We can get wrapped up in the presents and time with family or the college football bowl games on TV, but the thing we should get wrapped up in is Jesus. We are nothing and have nothing with out him. Our celebrating Christmas will be in vain, if we don’t lift Jesus up and celebrate the love, forgiveness and hope that he brought with him when he came to earth. And how he offers those things anyone who will call on his name and put their faith and trust into him.

I am writing this mostly for myself because I am one who doesn’t necessarily get “in the Christmas spirit.” I’m not the biggest fan of Christmas music or tinsel, however I do love the Christmas movies. I am writing this to remind myself to walk through this December with a purpose to remember that Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of my Savior. It’s a time where I need to be motivated to worship and praise Jesus for the salvation he brought, instead of retreating to watch Toledo and Utah State play a meaningless football game. I want to be more purposeful with how this Christmas is experienced and not get caught up in gifts and greed that can seep in.

Merry Christmas you filthy animals! (You can’t write a blog about Christmas without adding a Home Alone quote)

Novembeard.

Today is a sad day. It’s December 1^st, which means the great month of Novembeard has come to an end. Novembeard is the month where any and all facial hair is worn without condemnation. It is a time when men can dream about what could be and have the freedom to just go for it. It is a time where manliness is at an all time high and where mouths everywhere get a little bit warmer due to the growth of their lip blankets.

Over the past three years Novembeard has come a callin’ and I have faithfully answered (and I say three years because that is when I was able to really start sprouting the good stuff). This year has been one for the record books. Mustacheo was out with a vengeance this year. He came to fight crime and protect the integrity of facial hair.

There were four of us at the ESBS who took full advantage of the Novembeard freedom and I think that it brought us closer together as a unit. We laughed and celebrated the good times, but also consoled one another when the time came to say goodbye. Some of us struggled letting go more than others … I don’t know if I should admit this, but I had attachment issues to my flavor saver.

For me it was a process to let go. I had to watch an instructional video (How To Kill a Mustache). I had to be reminded that this was a good thing. This was an actual conversation I had with fellow staff member and Novembeard connoisseur:

(10:35 am) Me: I can’t do it … I can’t shave it off

(10:35 am) Caleb: Keep it

(10:36 am) Me: But I am ready to shave … I just don’t want to hurt him

(10:37 am) Caleb: He will not be dead … just sleeping awaiting the next call to the battlefront.

(10:37 am) Me: There are going to be tears

(10:38 am) Caleb: Yeah … but the ladies will get over it.

(10:47 am) Me: It gone

(10:48 am) Caleb: R.I.P.

It was fun while it lasted and I have returned to looking 17 again. I feel like I have lost respect in the mountain man community for letting a good man go, but the time will come to call Mustacheo back from the depths to return to greatness.

Here are pictures to remember the good times. 

Out looking for crime and solving cases

Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving was my first one spent away from my family in Texas. I made the 2-hour journey to Charlotte to celebrate my thankfulness with my Uncle Tim, Aunt Mary and cousins Julia, Victoria and Josh. It was sad not to be spending it with my parents and our friends, but it was great to spend time with the NC Buwicks. If you know anything about my mom’s side of the family … this week was full of the three L’s – laughter, love and loud noises.

We had a fun Thanksgiving Day. It started with an 8k (5 mile) run, complete with turkey headbands for the cousins and an Indian headdress for Uncle Tim. (We were one short so I gave mine to Julia and went with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bandana.) My feet fell asleep at mile 3, but ain’t nobody got time to stop! The run was painful and I think my legs are still sore. I guess this is what happens when you don’t run for over a month or two. After the nightmare was over we had our turkey dinner and watched some good football.

One of my favorite things about coming to Charlotte is the one thing you can always count on when you walk into the Buwick household is there will be an on slot of games. The big game this trip was Boggle and you know you are a Buwick relative when you get worked up over Boggle. I went to sleep on Friday night kicking myself over not seeing the words “failed”, “nailed” and “fanned” in our games … they cost me the win.

It was a fun trip and I am so thankful for my family. I am thankful for the love that is in their houses and for their encouragement and support. I love you all very much!

Things I've Learned - Round 2.

I love the fall colors on the trees and the crunchy leaves on the ground.

Burt’s Bees is the best medication, in my opinion, for the chappedness of your lips.

I like to try to and find shapes or images in the clouds.

I will listen to music over and over and over until I can’t anymore and then change genres completely. – Randy Rodgers is out and Mumford & Sons and Florence + The Machines are in.

I have an attachment to my facial hair. I wake up some mornings and glance in the mirror as I walk by and realize that if I didn’t shower for a couple of days and sat on the street in Asheville someone may give me money, but I cant will myself to bring a razor to my face.

I enjoy coming up with alter egos for skits or just to bring out to make someone smile. 

You never know how much you don’t trust things until you are 100ft high on a rock and there is a person, with a rope attached to a harness and metal clips which, if you fall, will hopefully save your life. à I take my recent desire for mountain climbing as a part of my sanctification.

A rearrangement of your living quarters can be a form of excitement. à I moved around my room and then woke up the next morning and was completely pumped … almost too pumped.

I am proud to be a graduate of Texas A&M.

Embracing The Challenge.

Last week I taught the book of Colossians and it is filled with the imagery and the message that Jesus reigns supreme over all things in creation. This morning we are making our way through the book of Hebrews and the author of Hebrews (whoever they may be) continues with this message and reiterates what Paul wrote in Colossians.

Hebrews 1:1-4 “Long ago God spoke to our ancestors in many and various ways by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom he also created the worlds. He is the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being, and he sustains all things by his powerful word. When he had made purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he inherited is more excellent than theirs.”

I love that. Jesus is the heir of all things, the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being and he is the one who sustains all things by his powerful word. There is nothing better or more powerful than Him and he is my Savior. This same message is presented in Colossians 1:15-23 and it is proof that Jesus was powerful enough to rescue us from our sin and do what he said he would do. And to that all I can say is “Amen.”

This morning and this message of Jesus’ supremacy reminds me of my favorite part of Colossians. In Colossians 3:1-2 Paul presents a challenge to the Colossian church. He states, “So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”

Paul is stating that if the church truly does believe that the gospel is true, if Jesus has done what he said he would do, if you honestly believe he was powerful enough to rescue us from the power of darkness; then you will seek the things of Jesus and not the things of this world. I take this as a challenge Paul is presenting to the Colossian church. He is telling them to stop, to be completely honest with themselves and determine where they stand on this issue because this issue is the one that will change everything about your life.

If we do believe the gospel is true and we embrace the challenge to set our minds on the things of Jesus, then that affects the way we live. It affects the way we love those around us. It affects the way we spend our time. It affects what we do with our money. It should change what we see as important and unimportant.  It should change your attitude at your work place. It should change the way we see the world.

I have gotten a lot of mileage out of this challenge over the past 3 weeks. It has come to mind in times when I don’t want to love or serve those around me, and it has motivated me to realize that the things of Jesus are more important and take precedent over my desires, my rights and my fears. It is a challenge that is further sanctifying me to become like the one if love.  

The challenge that Paul presents is good and I hope that it is one that inspires you to follow him more faithfully. 

The Evidence.

Yesterday I taught Colossians and it was a whole lot of fun. I mean how can you not have fun when someone tells you that you get to speak for 3 hours about the superiority of Jesus and how he has made a way for us to be rescued from our sin? It sounds like a good time to me. 

I feel like I am really starting to get the hang of this whole speaking in front of people thing. Its fun and gets my adrenaline pumping. But after teaching I always get this felling like I had just been hit by a big truck. My mind is tired, my body is sore and all I want to do is lay down. It’s funny because you can notice when one of the staff members here are about to teach, they are super focused, their appearance starts to become a little bit more sloppy and they start to walk around like a zombie after a while. You can also notice when someone has just taught. The last place they want to be is in their office because it’s a mess and at times they magically disappear for hours so that they don’t have to talk.

I say this because I walked into my office today and saw the evidence that I had just taught all over the place. My desk looks like someone just broke in and trashed the place. I have 7 coffee cups, 2 Pibb Extra cans, 3 candy wrappers and an empty bag of sunflower seeds on my floor around my desk. Also, I found random pictures on my computer of my ratty self that I don’t remember taking.

I love my job.

Here is the evidence:

Ya its a little trashy 

I don't remember taking these ... Its kind of funny though

Front Porch Sitting.

I often joke, with a hint of sincerity, that I can’t wait until I get old. I like the old man style, you know what I am talking about … the khakis with a polo tucked in over their old man belly and some gray or white sneakers. I like how the old men give you a wink after the do something nice, its like they are saying “this is what I’ve learned over the years … take some notes.” But probably the thing that I like the most is that the old men get to do a lot of front porch sitting. (I see it on tv or in the movies and it just looks like a good time!)

I can only imagine what takes place while they sit on the front porch. I think about the debates about this or that. I think about the conversations about any and all topics. I think about the stories told: the good, the bad and the entertaining. I think about how they probably reminisce about the old days: their successes, their failures, the missed opportunities and the opportunities they took that changed everything. 

 I talk about this because I’ve given up on waiting for these days to come. I’ve started doing some front porch sitting of my own. Every once in a while I will wander down to my favorite place at camp to just sit, look and reflect. I sit in a comfy chair, look at the mountains and think about what is going on in life. I use these times to get alone with God. To think about how he is working in my life, where I see him and where I may be missing him. I ask him to show me an honest view of my life. To show me where I can grow and what I need to improve in order to serve him more wholeheartedly. I sometimes sit in silence and listen to see if he wants to tell me something, and at times he does. Sometimes I sit and talk to him out loud and just pray for my life, for those I love, for the school, for whatever crosses my mind.

I know I look forward to the old man Todd Livingston and his front porch sitting, but I love these times right now. They are sweet times with God and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. 

Not a bad front porch view

My Utmost For His Highest.

One of my fellow staff members spoke about this devotional in class the other day and since then I have been reading it and letting it guide my prayers for the day. The devotional is called "My Utmost For His Highest" and it is by Oswald Chambers, who I guess is some old guy who was pretty smart. You can find it online by this web-site http://utmost.org/.

The reason I bring this up is because today's devotional is really good and I just felt like it was something that needed to be shared. So here it is. (Also, when he says "missionary" I believe that he is talking about all Christians because we are to be living as missionaries in an unbelieving world.)

. . . they went forth for His name’s sake . . . —3 John 7

Our Lord told us how our love for Him is to exhibit itself when He asked, “Do you love Me?” (John 21:17). And then He said, “Feed My sheep.” In effect, He said, “Identify yourself with Myinterests in other people,” not, “Identify Me with your interests in other people.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 shows us the characteristics of this love— it is actually the love of God expressing itself. The true test of my love for Jesus is a very practical one, and all the rest is sentimental talk.

Faithfulness to Jesus Christ is the supernatural work of redemption that has been performed in me by the Holy Spirit— “the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit . . .” (Romans 5:5). And it is that love in me that effectively works through me and comes in contact with everyone I meet. I remain faithful to His name, even though the commonsense view of my life may seemingly deny that, and may appear to be declaring that He has no more power than the morning mist.

The key to the missionary’s devotion is that he is attached to nothing and to no one except our Lord Himself. It does not mean simply being detached from the external things surrounding us. Our Lord was amazingly in touch with the ordinary things of life, but He had an inner detachment except toward God. External detachment is often an actual indication of a secret, growing, inner attachment to the things we stay away from externally.

The duty of a faithful missionary is to concentrate on keeping his soul completely and continually open to the nature of the Lord Jesus Christ. The men and women our Lord sends out on His endeavors are ordinary human people, but people who are controlled by their devotion to Him, which has been brought about through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Now that is some good stuff! It opened my eyes to remember that everyone is loved by God and thus they need to be respected and cared for with my full effort. 

Lord, help me love better and love with your heart and not mine.

Encouraged.

I was told lately that I have a very appreciative laugh and at first I didn’t know how to take that. I didn’t know if they thought that I was an easy laugh and hence didn’t have a refined since of humor because let’s be honest … we all know that isn’t true … But they informed me that my laugh and easily amused sense of humor made them feel funny and they liked it. So I took my appreciative laugh as a good thing.

This is on my mind because this past weekend I took a road trip up to Virginia to hang out with a friend from the summer camp because it was our fall break. It was some quality man-time filled with ping-pong, Frisbee golf, movies, football and most importantly a lot of laughter.

On my way home, as I was listening to some podcasts, I got to thinking about how much I really enjoy laughing. I like being around people that make me laugh and I enjoy making people laugh. I get encouraged by it. So I guess that it is a good thing that I live in a community where laughter is a daily part of our lives. I love this place because we study the Bible, we love Jesus and we have fun while we do it!

*** As a side note the lectures from this year are now posted on the ESBS web-site. So if you want to listen and maybe learn something here is the link http://www.esbsonline.org/media/audio-2012-13/ ***

Things I've Learned.

As I walked to go get my breakfast and coffee this morning, my mind started wander and I just got to thinking about things that I have learned or observed about my life over the past month or so and thus it became the inspiration for this post.

I have really missed Texas Country music and I have been more than happy to set Randy Rogers as my Pandora station.

Poopie diapers are not as bad as I thought they were ... September 19^th, 2012 is a day that will go down in the record books as the day I first changed a diaper with #2 in it thanks to Luke Phillips.

Coffee without Splenda and flavored creamer doesn’t taste good … I don’t care if it ends up destroying my insides … It’s the only way I can drink it.

Fall may be my favorite season ... The weather outside is amazing and the leaves will start to change in a couple of weeks!

I love skyping my sister and nephew ... It brightens up my day to hear “DANGER!” said over the computer by an almost 2 year old. 

My parents were right … I am supposed to be a teacher. I really enjoy teaching. I wasn’t nervous while I taught, but while I stood up to speak it felt like a really safe and peaceful place for me to be.

I have a messed up back ...  I went to the chiropractor finally and its never good when you lay on your stomach and when the dr looks at your back and says “Oh this isn’t good.” So I get to make the trip to go see her a couple of times a week for a while to try and fix me.

I don’t think I am going to grow out of my kid phase of life ... I have two large Styrofoam cut outs of Thor and Ironman in my room and I may or may not give them high-fives or fist bumps when I walk by them.

I love going to the top of the climbing wall at camp to look at God’s creation in order to remind myself how small I really am.

I never knew that a simple game of Ping Pong, or “Table Tennis” for you more refined individuals, could brighten up my day ... Another staff member and I are keeping a tally sheet of all the games we have played and as of today through 5 weeks of games I am up 36-18. I am doing research to try to find a tournament to play in somewhere in North Carolina.

My beard is weak but my mustache is strong. 

Layin 'em down.

So I teach two lectures on the book of Acts starting Friday and then again on Monday and it has been a battle to study and prepare for those 6 hours. If I am going to be honest I have to tell you that the past month has been a battle. For the past month I feel like I have just fought with God on everything in my life right now. Whenever there was a decision that needed to be made what I wanted to do was the complete opposite from what I felt like God wanted me to do. When I made the choice to do what I wanted, there was peace for a minute until God reminded me that I was supposed to take a right instead of the left. When I made a choice to do what I felt like God had asked me to do, there wasn’t any peace at all because it wasn’t want I wanted and I was upset about that. For the past month there have been tears shed, frustrations and times of prayer where I have just been honest with God about how frustrated I am with him. The past month has left me tired, mad and out of it mentally. I am sure that I haven’t been much fun to be around.

It wasn’t until I started studying the movement of the Holy Spirit and the preaching by the apostles within the book of Acts for my lecture that I figured out why this month has been so hard. It’s been so hard because the expectations I had for my life don’t match up with the reality. This revelation came to me as I was looking at Acts 1:6-8 which says, ⁶ So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?” ⁷ He replied, “It is not for you to know the times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” In these verses Jesus’ disciples are asking him when the Kingdom is going to be restored to Israel and as they do this they are thinking it is going to be something very physical. They are expecting the Romans to be overthrown, kicked out of the nation of Israel and that the Messiah will reign as king and leader of the people. This is what the disciples were looking for and what they were expecting, but that is not what the Messiah’s kingdom was going to look like. His kingdom was something very different. It was spiritual not physical and the enemy was sin and not the Romans. But since this was their focus, Jesus responds by telling them that they are not to worry about the fulfillment of their expectations, but instead they should lay down those expectations and be ready to do what God has placed before them to do. And for the apostles it was to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to spread the gospel of Jesus throughout the Roman Empire and facilitate the starting of the church. (I am one who is pretty happy they obeyed)

These verses hit me like a dump truck because I was in the apostles’ shoes. I was hanging on to expectations for what I thought was going to happen in my life and wasn’t willing to come to grips with where I was and what that God has asked me to do. For the past month God has been challenging me to lay down my expectations and then destroying things when I wouldn’t and try to take matters into my own hands. It’s been so rough because I haven’t wanted to give in. Finally God broke through in a way that I understood … he spoke into my Bible-nerdness. He has asked me to lay down my expectations and follow him. He has asked me to not worry about desires in my heart, but to trust him and focus on the task that is before me and that task is being present and active within the community at the ESBS.

I know that he is a loving God that I can trust with everything and I know that is true because … Well he is in charge of everything. I know that this is a time where I can grow in my trust and dependence of him. And so I guess Jesus this is me laying ‘em down as best I know how. In the deepest part of my heart I really don’t want what I want out of life, but I want what you have for me. I know that it might not look conventional or glorious, but that’s ok. I know where you are leading me is for your glory and not my own, and that is what I truly desire. I want to see you exalted and I want to see your name proclaimed. I want my happiness to be found in doing what you have asked me to do. I trust you and I was to be obedient. 

Friends.

This past weekend I had the privilege of being a groomsman in my friend Clint Bonn’s wedding. Clint and I met my sophomore year at Texas A&M and have been friends ever since. He is a good man that pushes me in my pursuit of Christ.

As I drove back to Houston from San Antonio, I thought about friendships and thought about the friends that I have been blessed with. Throughout my life, from elementary school to present day, I have made some awesome friends. I feel like every major developmental time in my life has included friends that have helped me walk through that. I am so thankful for the friends that I have because they are there to challenge and encourage me when I need it, they are there to listen to me when I need to process and of course they are always ready to have some fun no matter what the situation is.

The friends that God has put in my life are truly a gift from him. I feel completely blessed by all of you and I thank you for your friendship and investment in my life. I want you to know that you are an important part of my life and I don’t take your friendship for granted. I hope that I have and will be able to continue to encourage you they way that you have encouraged me. 

Living The Camp Life.

I guess this is a long time coming, but this past week I finally realized that I am living a camp life. One night this past week, I had a dream that I broke a camp rule and it has essentially given me a wakeup call. The rule that was broken is that I let our camp dog, Jesse, into the dining hall where she enjoyed her dinner while we enjoyed ours. Now if you have ever seen Jesse you would know why this is a rule … one of my fellow staff members thinks that Jesse is the dirtiest thing known to man … I think she is beautiful and awesome!

I know that I am in too deep with living at camp when the thought of bringing the camp dog into the dining hall is haunting me in my dreams. Living at camp is in every sense of life a good thing. It is peaceful. It is safe both from harm and safe spiritually. You are free to be who you are in Christ and you have a community around you that loves you. These are all factors that have contributed to me growing in my relationship with Christ and I know that there are some out there who would trade positions with me in a heartbeat. But I don’t want to get too sucked into this life. I want to remember that there is a world outside of the Lurecrest Bubble filled with people that need the gospel. There is a world outside filled with people whose lives aren’t as “easy” as mine seems to be. I want to remember not to take this experience of the Bubble for granted and remember that God has given me this time as a gift.

I don’t really want to be trapped in the Bubble anymore. I want to go out and meet, hang out with and get to know people within the community. I want to have friends that live in Lake Lure or Rutherfordton that aren’t involved with camp. So I have to goal to get involved with one of the youth groups in town and hopefully use what I have learned to walk with students in their lives.

The Bubble isn’t getting popped, but just a bit deflated. 

New School. New Goals. Same God.

The Emmaus School of Biblical Studies Class of 2013

This past week was the first week of the new ESBS school year and things are off to a good start! We have 9 students and I am excited to be in community with them this year. As we have started to get to know each other I started to notice a common theme running through my conversations. I kept on stating my goals for the year. Some of them are serious, while others are just fun. So the other day while I was journaling I wrote out my goals for the year and I decided to blog about it so that you can hold me accountable for it.

So here are the goals for the year:

- I want to take my relationship with God more seriously. I want to be more intentional about how I live and interact with God each day.

- I want to exercise more.

- I want to go rock climbing and push the limits of my comfort zone. (Life can be boring if you just want to stay where you are comfortable.)

- I want to fast more. (I wrote down 1 time per week, and I hope I stick to that)

- I want to continue to play a lot of ping pong.

- I want to be discipled and grow stronger relationships with the men around me.

- I want to read more. At least read for a little bit each day of non-school books.

- I want to become more of a man. I want to make tough man decisions. (Its time to do some growing up.)

- I want to blog more. (I have been reading a friends blog and they just write these short blurbs and I like their style. I want to do that more instead of writing these long essays that I usually write.)

- I want to love and respect those around me with my actions. And take accountability for the times that I mess up.

- I want to do a back flip on land.

- I want to stand up on a wakeboard.

- I want to disciple well.

- I want to pray and sit before the Lord, so that I can listen to His leading.

I am excited about the next 10 months and the adventures that the new school year will bring. I am excited to see how God is going to work in the lives of the students and staff. I am excited for the students to see God more clearly. I hope that their lives are changed like mine has been. I hope that God will reveal himself in the same way that He revealed himself to me and the other students that have come through this program. I hope this year will be one that strengthens their relationship with God and a lot of fun along the way. 

Humbled.

Over the past two years, since I have moved to North Carolina and been apart of the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies, God has done much in my heart. I have learned so many things about Him through studying and through living life that I have been transformed. My life, my views, my world has been changed. If I had to describe how I have been changed in one word it would be “humbled.” (Now I know what some of you might be thinking, someone writing about humility isn’t really the most humble thing to do. But this blog isn’t about how humble I am – because I know I still have a long way to go – it is about how great our God is.)

God, in the sweetest and most loving way possible, over the past two years has just broken me down and helped me realize that I, Todd Daniel Livingston, don’t know it all and I am not the greatest thing that has walked this earth. God has taken the things that I have tried to hold on to, things I have tried to control, things that I have not or don’t think I can trust Him with and asked me to let go and in certain situations, when I wouldn’t obey, He has taken control of them. It really has been a beautiful beat down for two years. But in the beat down, He has shown me that His Son does know it all, He is the greatest thing that has walked this earth and He has called me to act, love, think and live like Him. God has shown me that He wants me to live like His Son and if I had to describe His Son in one word it would be “humble.”

I was thinking about how to describe how this has taken place in my life and the thought that kept coming to my head was this scene from the TV show The Office. It’s a scene where Michael Scott, the boss, is saying jokes about each one of the employees and at the end of each joke he says “Boom. Roasted.” Here is a link to the video if you haven’t seen it yet. 

So if I could produce the dialogue of some of God’s humbling of myself over the past two years it might go something like this:

  *  God: “Todd you don’t want to live in Lake Lure, NC because it is small, 30 minutes from everything and you are scared you are going to be all alone?” Me: “Yep.” God: “But if you trust me it will be the best thing for our relationship and I will teach you to become the man I want you to be.” I wouldn’t trade the past two years for anything. Boom. Humbled.

  *   God: “Todd you are freaking out because you don’t want to raise support because of how everyone will look at you? You don’t want to humble yourself before those around you to ask for support?” Me: “Nailed it.” God: “If you walk this out with patience and trust, I will show you how I am the provider you need and totally transform your mindset about money. I will use those around you who love you and love Jesus to be my provision to partner with you in your ministry.” He is teaching me to trust His provision day in and day out. Boom. Humbled.

 *  God: “Todd I will let that little voice in your head continue get the better of you after you have stuck your foot in your mouth and said something stupid or something that hurt someone until you apologize and repent before them.” Me: “Yes sir.” I am thankful He has time and time again. Boom. Humbled.

 *   God: “Todd I know it’s hard for you not to try to take control of and focus on relationships, but please turn your focus to me and let my timing win out. Let me strengthen our relationship, so that you can really care for her when the time comes.” Me: “But God I really don’t want to.” God: “Please trust me.” Me: “Are you sure? Do you see how awesome she is?” God: “Do you know who you are talking to?” Me: “Ya you’re right.” He is getting His way. Boom. Humbled.

I know that my description of God in this is comical (or at least it is supposed to be) and I have described it the past two years as a beat down, but I am a guy and that is how I think. In all seriousness these are just a few of the things that God has done to show me the reality of His Son. The reality that I am far from the perfection that Jesus has, but also the reality that He wants to help me become closer and closer to that perfection. I am sorry for those that have been hurt during my humbling and I don’t think that I could apologize enough.  I am so thankful for the lessons that I have learned through having to humble myself before God and before others, because in that I am dying to my own desires which is what living out the Gospel really is.

Jesus I love you and I am thankful for the ways that you are teaching me to become more like you. Thank you for the depth of your grace and your unending love. Please continue to work in me and humble me in the areas that I need it. I want to be moldable clay and let you make me into the man you want me to be. 

Summers Gone

Yesterday was the first day at camp without any summer camp staff here and it was kind of nice, but at the same time sad and lonely. I enjoy the quiet, but I also miss the noise. The summer went bye in a flash and I think I will be reflecting and dissecting what all God did in my heart for weeks to come. 

Through all of the sweat, tears, lightening drills, Frisbee and laughs I have come out of this summer with some awesome friends. I can honestly say that I enjoyed and looked forward to coming to camp everyday, not because of the work that was done, but because of the people that I got to do that work with. It was such a privilege to be here this summer and be surrounded by people that love Jesus and are willing and wanting to show that love to those around them. The friendships built this summer have left me encouraged to continue to teach the Gospel message and invest in those around me. They have also challenged me to live out the Gospel in every area of my life, something that I often lose sight of.

I am so thankful for the rejuvenation that this summer has brought and I am ready to meet the students as they arrive this weekend for the new school year.

ESBS 2012 – “Are you ready for this?”

Things Are A Changing!

Things are a changing at Camp Lurecrest! With the ESBS students graduated and the heat index pushing up the thermometer, it is time for the Summer Camp side of Camp Lurecrest to take over. It has been a smooth and easy transition as we flipped the camp from school usage to getting it ready for 250 students to bombard our little mountain sanctuary. 

Because I am on staff at the ESBS I am not really obligated to stay around for the summer. However about a month ago I really started to get a heart for the summer camp. I just saw a great opportunity to pour into the counselors and support staff that will be leading the campers the 2 months they are here. I have really gotten a heart to bring the school and summer camp closer together and to just find opportunities where I can serve and love on people.

I have also been given the opportunity to be the speaker next week for a special camp that Lurecrest puts on. The camp is called New Venture and it is for underprivledged students in Mecklenburg County, near Charlotte. I am really looking forward to this opportunity because (1) I get to tell people about how great our God is, (2) I get to continue to build relationships with the summer camp staff and (3) because it will remind me of my days working with Youth Impact in college.

So if you think about it, will you please pray for me. I have prepared to talk 7 times in the next 4 days, starting Monday night.  I hope to be answering some of the big world view questions that students should understand about God, themselves and their relationship with Him. Please pray that the students will be open and will embrace the message of Jesus!

Thank you again for all of your support in my ministry! It truly does mean a lot to me!

A Review Of The Year

ESBS Class 2011-2012

We have made it! We are staring down the finish line and sprinting towards it! The ESBS only has one week left and then we will all be going our separate ways to build the Kingdom where God has us.

It is has been a long 10 months, but at the same time it has flown bye so fast. It feels like only yesterday the year was getting started. It is going to be sad to say goodbye to this tight-knit community that has been formed during our time together. Yet as I think about what has taken place this year I can’t help, but think about the growth that has gone on within the lives of everyone here.

I am amazed as I look back upon the past 10 months and see how God has met, changed and challenged each of the students here. I have seen students confront and conquer issues that have bound them in fear for the majority of their lives. I have seen students be challenged with their understanding of who God is and seen them respond with just honesty about how their view of Him is changing … and changing in a good way. I have seen students wrestle with God and where He is leading them, then in the end come to a place where they are just in absolute openness to how He is working in their lives and where they want what He wants for them. I have experienced in my own life, over the past 10 months, these very same things. I have wrestled with God, been challenged by Him and come to a place where I just ask Him to lead me where He wants me to go and I will follow.

As I look at the past 10 months I just see the beauty in what this school is all about. It’s a place where people can come and meet God. It’s a place where people can come and have Him work in their lives. It’s a place people can come and learn about His character as they study His words to us and then be challenged by that … challenged to see Him for who He really is and not who they have made Him out to be.

I have just seen so much growth this year within the students and within the staff that the value of what takes place here cannot be measured. People leave here with their lives changed and with a knowledge of God that will show impact those they are around. I am so thankful for this group of people and community that God has put me. It will be sad to say goodbye, but it will always be sweet to remember the memories!

Big Life Questions

Over the past week or so I have been thinking a lot about God’s calling in my life. I have been thinking about it a lot because I want to know what I am suppose to be doing. I want to know because I want to be walking as faithfully as I can with God and in the direction that he wants me to go. This wondering about God’s calling in my life led into the bigger question of “what is life about?”

As I sat and thought, sat and prayed, walked around and thought and walked around and prayed I just started thinking about these things and really asking God for direction. I prayed, thought, listened and then I started to find answers to these questions … and by answers I mean answers by my own opinion. As I thought about life in general and what it is all about, the one thought that continued to invade my brain was the truth that life is all about God. It is suppose to be all about serving Him, loving Him and living for Him because he is the one that makes this whole world possible. He is the one that is keeping me in existence. I started to really embrace and hold on to the bigger truth that life is really not about me or about my wants or desires, but it is about something more about something more impactful and about something that is not finite … like me. Life is about God and giving glory to his everlasting kingdom. Everyday when I wake up it should not be about what I want to do with my day, but it should be about what God wants me to do with my day. It shouldn’t be about what I want to do with my life, but it should be about what God wants me to do with my life that will build up His kingdom here on earth.

When I started to really dwell in these truths, I started to look at where God has me right now. I started to look at the ESBS and look at the other options and really weight them against what I know to be true about God and how he deals with His people. Many of you know that I was planning on moving back to Houston and away from the ministry I am currently in; but as I thought about this, not on for the past week but for the months leading up to the past week, I never really felt comfortable with that. There was a wrestling going on in my heart because I wasn’t confident that this is where God was leading. As the week progressed I felt like God was really speaking to me and telling me that I need to stay here and continue the work that I have already started. He didn’t speak to me in an audible voice or with a cloud from the sky (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME!!!!) but he spoke to me through giving me peace and confidence as I thought about the decision to stay. He spoke to me by helping me see the bigger picture of what is going on here at the ESBS and how it is not just something that is changing someone’s life for 10 months, but it is something that is going to change someone for the rest of their life!

I know that God’s calling is not always so clear. I know that we can be called into something specific like the prophets were – they were chosen to deliver a specific message at a specific time, or we could be called into something in general like the disciples – they were chosen just to minister and to spread the gospel of Christ wherever they went. We can be called to be the most honorable business man in whatever profession we enjoy, we can be called to be a stay at home parent and really invest in the growth of our child. We can be called to volunteer and help at church or in other organizations; but in the end, whatever it may be, I do think we all have a calling and I want to be as faithful to that as possible.

So with all of that said, I have decided that I am going to stay with the ministry at the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies. I feel like God has really set me up for this and he has given me the skills to excel and enjoy what I am doing. He has given me confidence and peace in my decision to stay, confidence and peace that he will provide and I want to walk faithfully into that.

I also want to say THANK YOU for those who have encouraged me and supported me in this decision. You really do mean a lot to me and I am so grateful for you!

Mom and Dad of SBS

(Ron and Judy Smith with Caleb Hartzler in Montana)

This past week and next week we have the privilege of having “Mom and Dad” here at the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies! We are so excited about having Ron and Judy Smith here teaching the books of Jeremiah, Lamentations, Joel and Ezekiel.

Ron and Judy started the School of Biblical Studies program for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) 31 years ago in Kona, Hawaii, and they were very helpful and influential in planting the ESBS here in Lake Lure.

Having them with us this year is truly a blessing from God. This past fall while teaching in Asia, Ron was very ill and the doctors feared he wouldn’t have much time to live. After many tests and procedures he was diagnosed with a very rare form of bone marrow cancer. So for the past 6 months of their lives has been devoted to Ron getting better and his body has responded well to the treatments … he even kicked my butt during our first round of golf this visit!

Their trip to Lake Lure and the ESBS is their first one since the diagnoses and it is so inspiring to hear Ron talk about his life. He doesn’t talk about the cancer that he has and how it is affecting his body, but instead he talks about how wonderful the Bible is and how great our God is!

He and Judy have been a huge inspiration and blessing for my life. I am so grateful for the time that I get to spend with them and just having them speak truth and wisdom into my life. It has truly been a gift to be renewed by their passion for what they do and for the God that they serve!

Please pray for the cancer to be removed from Ron’s body so that he and Judy can go out and spread the gospel message to so many and grow the Kingdom around the world!