Living The Camp Life.

I guess this is a long time coming, but this past week I finally realized that I am living a camp life. One night this past week, I had a dream that I broke a camp rule and it has essentially given me a wakeup call. The rule that was broken is that I let our camp dog, Jesse, into the dining hall where she enjoyed her dinner while we enjoyed ours. Now if you have ever seen Jesse you would know why this is a rule … one of my fellow staff members thinks that Jesse is the dirtiest thing known to man … I think she is beautiful and awesome!

I know that I am in too deep with living at camp when the thought of bringing the camp dog into the dining hall is haunting me in my dreams. Living at camp is in every sense of life a good thing. It is peaceful. It is safe both from harm and safe spiritually. You are free to be who you are in Christ and you have a community around you that loves you. These are all factors that have contributed to me growing in my relationship with Christ and I know that there are some out there who would trade positions with me in a heartbeat. But I don’t want to get too sucked into this life. I want to remember that there is a world outside of the Lurecrest Bubble filled with people that need the gospel. There is a world outside filled with people whose lives aren’t as “easy” as mine seems to be. I want to remember not to take this experience of the Bubble for granted and remember that God has given me this time as a gift.

I don’t really want to be trapped in the Bubble anymore. I want to go out and meet, hang out with and get to know people within the community. I want to have friends that live in Lake Lure or Rutherfordton that aren’t involved with camp. So I have to goal to get involved with one of the youth groups in town and hopefully use what I have learned to walk with students in their lives.

The Bubble isn’t getting popped, but just a bit deflated. 

New School. New Goals. Same God.

The Emmaus School of Biblical Studies Class of 2013

This past week was the first week of the new ESBS school year and things are off to a good start! We have 9 students and I am excited to be in community with them this year. As we have started to get to know each other I started to notice a common theme running through my conversations. I kept on stating my goals for the year. Some of them are serious, while others are just fun. So the other day while I was journaling I wrote out my goals for the year and I decided to blog about it so that you can hold me accountable for it.

So here are the goals for the year:

- I want to take my relationship with God more seriously. I want to be more intentional about how I live and interact with God each day.

- I want to exercise more.

- I want to go rock climbing and push the limits of my comfort zone. (Life can be boring if you just want to stay where you are comfortable.)

- I want to fast more. (I wrote down 1 time per week, and I hope I stick to that)

- I want to continue to play a lot of ping pong.

- I want to be discipled and grow stronger relationships with the men around me.

- I want to read more. At least read for a little bit each day of non-school books.

- I want to become more of a man. I want to make tough man decisions. (Its time to do some growing up.)

- I want to blog more. (I have been reading a friends blog and they just write these short blurbs and I like their style. I want to do that more instead of writing these long essays that I usually write.)

- I want to love and respect those around me with my actions. And take accountability for the times that I mess up.

- I want to do a back flip on land.

- I want to stand up on a wakeboard.

- I want to disciple well.

- I want to pray and sit before the Lord, so that I can listen to His leading.

I am excited about the next 10 months and the adventures that the new school year will bring. I am excited to see how God is going to work in the lives of the students and staff. I am excited for the students to see God more clearly. I hope that their lives are changed like mine has been. I hope that God will reveal himself in the same way that He revealed himself to me and the other students that have come through this program. I hope this year will be one that strengthens their relationship with God and a lot of fun along the way. 

Humbled.

Over the past two years, since I have moved to North Carolina and been apart of the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies, God has done much in my heart. I have learned so many things about Him through studying and through living life that I have been transformed. My life, my views, my world has been changed. If I had to describe how I have been changed in one word it would be “humbled.” (Now I know what some of you might be thinking, someone writing about humility isn’t really the most humble thing to do. But this blog isn’t about how humble I am – because I know I still have a long way to go – it is about how great our God is.)

God, in the sweetest and most loving way possible, over the past two years has just broken me down and helped me realize that I, Todd Daniel Livingston, don’t know it all and I am not the greatest thing that has walked this earth. God has taken the things that I have tried to hold on to, things I have tried to control, things that I have not or don’t think I can trust Him with and asked me to let go and in certain situations, when I wouldn’t obey, He has taken control of them. It really has been a beautiful beat down for two years. But in the beat down, He has shown me that His Son does know it all, He is the greatest thing that has walked this earth and He has called me to act, love, think and live like Him. God has shown me that He wants me to live like His Son and if I had to describe His Son in one word it would be “humble.”

I was thinking about how to describe how this has taken place in my life and the thought that kept coming to my head was this scene from the TV show The Office. It’s a scene where Michael Scott, the boss, is saying jokes about each one of the employees and at the end of each joke he says “Boom. Roasted.” Here is a link to the video if you haven’t seen it yet. 

So if I could produce the dialogue of some of God’s humbling of myself over the past two years it might go something like this:

  *  God: “Todd you don’t want to live in Lake Lure, NC because it is small, 30 minutes from everything and you are scared you are going to be all alone?” Me: “Yep.” God: “But if you trust me it will be the best thing for our relationship and I will teach you to become the man I want you to be.” I wouldn’t trade the past two years for anything. Boom. Humbled.

  *   God: “Todd you are freaking out because you don’t want to raise support because of how everyone will look at you? You don’t want to humble yourself before those around you to ask for support?” Me: “Nailed it.” God: “If you walk this out with patience and trust, I will show you how I am the provider you need and totally transform your mindset about money. I will use those around you who love you and love Jesus to be my provision to partner with you in your ministry.” He is teaching me to trust His provision day in and day out. Boom. Humbled.

 *  God: “Todd I will let that little voice in your head continue get the better of you after you have stuck your foot in your mouth and said something stupid or something that hurt someone until you apologize and repent before them.” Me: “Yes sir.” I am thankful He has time and time again. Boom. Humbled.

 *   God: “Todd I know it’s hard for you not to try to take control of and focus on relationships, but please turn your focus to me and let my timing win out. Let me strengthen our relationship, so that you can really care for her when the time comes.” Me: “But God I really don’t want to.” God: “Please trust me.” Me: “Are you sure? Do you see how awesome she is?” God: “Do you know who you are talking to?” Me: “Ya you’re right.” He is getting His way. Boom. Humbled.

I know that my description of God in this is comical (or at least it is supposed to be) and I have described it the past two years as a beat down, but I am a guy and that is how I think. In all seriousness these are just a few of the things that God has done to show me the reality of His Son. The reality that I am far from the perfection that Jesus has, but also the reality that He wants to help me become closer and closer to that perfection. I am sorry for those that have been hurt during my humbling and I don’t think that I could apologize enough.  I am so thankful for the lessons that I have learned through having to humble myself before God and before others, because in that I am dying to my own desires which is what living out the Gospel really is.

Jesus I love you and I am thankful for the ways that you are teaching me to become more like you. Thank you for the depth of your grace and your unending love. Please continue to work in me and humble me in the areas that I need it. I want to be moldable clay and let you make me into the man you want me to be. 

Summers Gone

Yesterday was the first day at camp without any summer camp staff here and it was kind of nice, but at the same time sad and lonely. I enjoy the quiet, but I also miss the noise. The summer went bye in a flash and I think I will be reflecting and dissecting what all God did in my heart for weeks to come. 

Through all of the sweat, tears, lightening drills, Frisbee and laughs I have come out of this summer with some awesome friends. I can honestly say that I enjoyed and looked forward to coming to camp everyday, not because of the work that was done, but because of the people that I got to do that work with. It was such a privilege to be here this summer and be surrounded by people that love Jesus and are willing and wanting to show that love to those around them. The friendships built this summer have left me encouraged to continue to teach the Gospel message and invest in those around me. They have also challenged me to live out the Gospel in every area of my life, something that I often lose sight of.

I am so thankful for the rejuvenation that this summer has brought and I am ready to meet the students as they arrive this weekend for the new school year.

ESBS 2012 – “Are you ready for this?”