It has come to that part of the year again where the big F Word starts to creep into the back of my mind and as it starts to creep towards the front, it brings with it a whole bunch of questions. I am talking about the future of course and all of the question marks that lay ahead of me.
I feel as if I am at that part in my life where I am facing a real fork in the road and have to make some hard decisions. I am standing at one point in my life and I don’t know what the next point is or where God will lead me. With this uncertainty it brings about some anxiety, fear and a little bit of stress because I want to be faithful to follow God wherever he may lead me. I want God’s will to lead out in my life and not my own. I want to be faithful and obedient to go where he has planned for me to go, to stay where he has planned for me to stay and do what he has planned for me to do. I just want God to win out in my life.
Since my senior year at Texas A&M, I have felt as if I was suppose to be a youth pastor; as if I was suppose to walk through life with students and show them Jesus and the character of God. I still hold on to that calling and I am doing my best to pursue it. I have talked to some churches about openings in their student ministries and I am excited to see what the outcome is! But what I know for sure is that I want God’s plans to win out.
When I came to North Carolina I came with the purpose of learning the Bible so that I can go and teach students the Bible. I never stopped to think about what God would do with me during the time I was here because I was so focused on what I was going to do when I left. I feel like I have never really stopped to enjoy the ride and the scenery that surrounds me because I was so focused on the end goal. These past 2 years God has put me in a place where it is safe to grow and safe to make mistakes with no one judging or condemning you. He has opened my eyes and showed me His character and I have fallen in love with him in a way that I never thought was possible. Lately I have been realizing the truth in the saying that the journey is just as exciting as the end goal. All of this uncertainty has made me stop and look at how God has been faithful to me in the past. This has helped me realize that He will continue to be faithful as I walk into the future.
I guess what I am trying to say with this is that the future is a scary thing at times, be we have a good God who is loving and caring towards His people. I know this about Him and I trust that His ways are better than mine. So God, I just ask that you will make your path clear in my life and lead me where you will. I trust that you will provide and weave together all of the little details. I want your will and your plans to be the ones that shine through in the end. I love you and I thank for loving me and for providing for me.
