Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Big Life Questions


Over the past week or so I have been thinking a lot about God’s calling in my life. I have been thinking about it a lot because I want to know what I am suppose to be doing. I want to know because I want to be walking as faithfully as I can with God and in the direction that he wants me to go. This wondering about God’s calling in my life led into the bigger question of “what is life about?”

As I sat and thought, sat and prayed, walked around and thought and walked around and prayed I just started thinking about these things and really asking God for direction. I prayed, thought, listened and then I started to find answers to these questions … and by answers I mean answers by my own opinion. As I thought about life in general and what it is all about, the one thought that continued to invade my brain was the truth that life is all about God. It is suppose to be all about serving Him, loving Him and living for Him because he is the one that makes this whole world possible. He is the one that is keeping me in existence. I started to really embrace and hold on to the bigger truth that life is really not about me or about my wants or desires, but it is about something more about something more impactful and about something that is not finite … like me. Life is about God and giving glory to his everlasting kingdom. Everyday when I wake up it should not be about what I want to do with my day, but it should be about what God wants me to do with my day. It shouldn’t be about what I want to do with my life, but it should be about what God wants me to do with my life that will build up His kingdom here on earth.

When I started to really dwell in these truths, I started to look at where God has me right now. I started to look at the ESBS and look at the other options and really weight them against what I know to be true about God and how he deals with His people. Many of you know that I was planning on moving back to Houston and away from the ministry I am currently in; but as I thought about this, not on for the past week but for the months leading up to the past week, I never really felt comfortable with that. There was a wrestling going on in my heart because I wasn’t confident that this is where God was leading. As the week progressed I felt like God was really speaking to me and telling me that I need to stay here and continue the work that I have already started. He didn’t speak to me in an audible voice or with a cloud from the sky (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME!!!!) but he spoke to me through giving me peace and confidence as I thought about the decision to stay. He spoke to me by helping me see the bigger picture of what is going on here at the ESBS and how it is not just something that is changing someone’s life for 10 months, but it is something that is going to change someone for the rest of their life!

I know that God’s calling is not always so clear. I know that we can be called into something specific like the prophets were – they were chosen to deliver a specific message at a specific time, or we could be called into something in general like the disciples – they were chosen just to minister and to spread the gospel of Christ wherever they went. We can be called to be the most honorable business man in whatever profession we enjoy, we can be called to be a stay at home parent and really invest in the growth of our child. We can be called to volunteer and help at church or in other organizations; but in the end, whatever it may be, I do think we all have a calling and I want to be as faithful to that as possible.

So with all of that said, I have decided that I am going to stay with the ministry at the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies. I feel like God has really set me up for this and he has given me the skills to excel and enjoy what I am doing. He has given me confidence and peace in my decision to stay, confidence and peace that he will provide and I want to walk faithfully into that.

I also want to say THANK YOU for those who have encouraged me and supported me in this decision. You really do mean a lot to me and I am so grateful for you!

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