It is often when I sit down to write one of these that a
rush of insecurity starts to flood my mind. I become insecure about who I am
and what I am doing. I become worried about what people will think about what I
write. I am just scared about what you think about my life, my decisions and me
personally. So the product of that is usually a blog that describes what is
going on in my life or my thought process, but there is humor or something like
that thrown in there to make you laugh and think well of me. This blog,
however, will not be one of those.
I am hurting. The past 4 months have been rough and it has
been a true time of suffering and testing for me personally.
Four months ago my stomach started to be upset with nausea
and constant pain that is best described as a hunger pain. There would be times
when my stomach would be in so much pain that it was debilitating and all that
I could do was lie down and shut my eyes so I wouldn’t start vomiting. At first
I thought that it had to do something with the fact that I was driving the boat
for summer camp and was out on the water for 6 hours a day; but when I left
North Carolina for Texas and then South Dakota the symptoms didn’t change and
may have even gotten worse.
I have seen a few different doctors and after some tests
they think that it is my gallbladder that is the source of the discomfort. However,
the one test that I need to have done so that we can know for sure what it is
has been continually pushed back by the hospital here in Lake Lure because they
are waiting for the medicine to come in give the test.
The not knowing what is truly going on inside of my body has
produced a fear that has crept into my mind and at times which has taken over
my thoughts. The constant discomfort, pain and nausea along with the times when
it flares up have brought a lot of stress. I have been drained emotionally by
the constant worry and managing of how I am feeling every minute of every day. I
am finally at the spot where I feel broken. I feel as if I am in despair due to
being drained emotionally, hurting physically and fear of the unknown of what
is really going on.
But there is good news, I have an appointment this upcoming
Monday (Oct. 7th) with a Gastro doctor in Alabama, who is a good
family friend of my girlfriend’s parents. He is going to help and stay on top
of my progress until we get this thing figured out. I am praying for answers
and for steps to be taken so that I can start to return to “normal life” again.
That all is one half of what has been weighing on me lately.
The other thing that has been really wearing me down is my financial support. This
past few months my support has dropped a significant amount. Presently I am not
able to fully pay all of my bills and I am going to accumulate more debt with
the upcoming medical expenses. I am in need of more financial support, whether
that be a 1-Time gift or continued monthly support.
As of right now my present level of support is $1,100 per
month through both monthly and 1-Time giving. My current expenses are around
$1,300 per month and the estimated amount of medical expenses is between
$7,000-$10,000. I do have health insurance, but it is a fairly high deductable
and will have to pay the majority of those expenses.
My goal is to raise my support $900 per month for a total of
$2,000. I ask that you please pray about giving financially whether that be a
1-Time gift or continually giving monthly. Your giving will be such a blessing
and encouragement for me during this time of hardship. If you are interested in
giving, please consider committing monthly to giving $25, $50 or $100.
You can gain more information about giving by going to the
ESBS website and it is under the “Get Involved” tab. Here is the link to the
ESBS page and also a link to
the
Donor
Card. You can send your donation to:
Camp Lurecrest Ministries,
Inc.
10800 Sikes Place, Suite 300
Charlotte, North Carolina
28277
I also want to say thank you to my current supporters and to
my family. You have been so gracious to me and I am beyond thankful in your
willingness to support me as I serve here at the ESBS.
Even though this time has been hard, there has been hope as
well. I am preparing to teach I
Peter and the message of the book is to be comforted by the hope of eternity in
heaven while suffering here on earth. My study has brought encouragement, joy
and comfort into my own life. It has reminded me that while I have been suffering
physically for 4 months, this is only a small time compared to the eternity of
no physical infirmities, death or destruction that waits in heaven. That
perspective helps me see this time within its proper light and encourage me to
suffer well.
I Peter 5:10 “After
you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you
to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and
establish you.”
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