Big Life Questions

Over the past week or so I have been thinking a lot about God’s calling in my life. I have been thinking about it a lot because I want to know what I am suppose to be doing. I want to know because I want to be walking as faithfully as I can with God and in the direction that he wants me to go. This wondering about God’s calling in my life led into the bigger question of “what is life about?”

As I sat and thought, sat and prayed, walked around and thought and walked around and prayed I just started thinking about these things and really asking God for direction. I prayed, thought, listened and then I started to find answers to these questions … and by answers I mean answers by my own opinion. As I thought about life in general and what it is all about, the one thought that continued to invade my brain was the truth that life is all about God. It is suppose to be all about serving Him, loving Him and living for Him because he is the one that makes this whole world possible. He is the one that is keeping me in existence. I started to really embrace and hold on to the bigger truth that life is really not about me or about my wants or desires, but it is about something more about something more impactful and about something that is not finite … like me. Life is about God and giving glory to his everlasting kingdom. Everyday when I wake up it should not be about what I want to do with my day, but it should be about what God wants me to do with my day. It shouldn’t be about what I want to do with my life, but it should be about what God wants me to do with my life that will build up His kingdom here on earth.

When I started to really dwell in these truths, I started to look at where God has me right now. I started to look at the ESBS and look at the other options and really weight them against what I know to be true about God and how he deals with His people. Many of you know that I was planning on moving back to Houston and away from the ministry I am currently in; but as I thought about this, not on for the past week but for the months leading up to the past week, I never really felt comfortable with that. There was a wrestling going on in my heart because I wasn’t confident that this is where God was leading. As the week progressed I felt like God was really speaking to me and telling me that I need to stay here and continue the work that I have already started. He didn’t speak to me in an audible voice or with a cloud from the sky (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME!!!!) but he spoke to me through giving me peace and confidence as I thought about the decision to stay. He spoke to me by helping me see the bigger picture of what is going on here at the ESBS and how it is not just something that is changing someone’s life for 10 months, but it is something that is going to change someone for the rest of their life!

I know that God’s calling is not always so clear. I know that we can be called into something specific like the prophets were – they were chosen to deliver a specific message at a specific time, or we could be called into something in general like the disciples – they were chosen just to minister and to spread the gospel of Christ wherever they went. We can be called to be the most honorable business man in whatever profession we enjoy, we can be called to be a stay at home parent and really invest in the growth of our child. We can be called to volunteer and help at church or in other organizations; but in the end, whatever it may be, I do think we all have a calling and I want to be as faithful to that as possible.

So with all of that said, I have decided that I am going to stay with the ministry at the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies. I feel like God has really set me up for this and he has given me the skills to excel and enjoy what I am doing. He has given me confidence and peace in my decision to stay, confidence and peace that he will provide and I want to walk faithfully into that.

I also want to say THANK YOU for those who have encouraged me and supported me in this decision. You really do mean a lot to me and I am so grateful for you!

Mom and Dad of SBS

(Ron and Judy Smith with Caleb Hartzler in Montana)

This past week and next week we have the privilege of having “Mom and Dad” here at the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies! We are so excited about having Ron and Judy Smith here teaching the books of Jeremiah, Lamentations, Joel and Ezekiel.

Ron and Judy started the School of Biblical Studies program for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) 31 years ago in Kona, Hawaii, and they were very helpful and influential in planting the ESBS here in Lake Lure.

Having them with us this year is truly a blessing from God. This past fall while teaching in Asia, Ron was very ill and the doctors feared he wouldn’t have much time to live. After many tests and procedures he was diagnosed with a very rare form of bone marrow cancer. So for the past 6 months of their lives has been devoted to Ron getting better and his body has responded well to the treatments … he even kicked my butt during our first round of golf this visit!

Their trip to Lake Lure and the ESBS is their first one since the diagnoses and it is so inspiring to hear Ron talk about his life. He doesn’t talk about the cancer that he has and how it is affecting his body, but instead he talks about how wonderful the Bible is and how great our God is!

He and Judy have been a huge inspiration and blessing for my life. I am so grateful for the time that I get to spend with them and just having them speak truth and wisdom into my life. It has truly been a gift to be renewed by their passion for what they do and for the God that they serve!

Please pray for the cancer to be removed from Ron’s body so that he and Judy can go out and spread the gospel message to so many and grow the Kingdom around the world!

The F Bomb

It has come to that part of the year again where the big F Word starts to creep into the back of my mind and as it starts to creep towards the front, it brings with it a whole bunch of questions. I am talking about the future of course and all of the question marks that lay ahead of me.

I feel as if I am at that part in my life where I am facing a real fork in the road and have to make some hard decisions. I am standing at one point in my life and I don’t know what the next point is or where God will lead me. With this uncertainty it brings about some anxiety, fear and a little bit of stress because I want to be faithful to follow God wherever he may lead me. I want God’s will to lead out in my life and not my own. I want to be faithful and obedient to go where he has planned for me to go, to stay where he has planned for me to stay and do what he has planned for me to do. I just want God to win out in my life.

Since my senior year at Texas A&M, I have felt as if I was suppose to be a youth pastor; as if I was suppose to walk through life with students and show them Jesus and the character of God. I still hold on to that calling and I am doing my best to pursue it. I have talked to some churches about openings in their student ministries and I am excited to see what the outcome is! But what I know for sure is that I want God’s plans to win out.

When I came to North Carolina I came with the purpose of learning the Bible so that I can go and teach students the Bible. I never stopped to think about what God would do with me during the time I was here because I was so focused on what I was going to do when I left. I feel like I have never really stopped to enjoy the ride and the scenery that surrounds me because I was so focused on the end goal. These past 2 years God has put me in a place where it is safe to grow and safe to make mistakes with no one judging or condemning you. He has opened my eyes and showed me His character and I have fallen in love with him in a way that I never thought was possible. Lately I have been realizing the truth in the saying that the journey is just as exciting as the end goal. All of this uncertainty has made me stop and look at how God has been faithful to me in the past. This has helped me realize that He will continue to be faithful as I walk into the future.

I guess what I am trying to say with this is that the future is a scary thing at times, be we have a good God who is loving and caring towards His people. I know this about Him and I trust that His ways are better than mine. So God, I just ask that you will make your path clear in my life and lead me where you will. I trust that you will provide and weave together all of the little details. I want your will and your plans to be the ones that shine through in the end. I love you and I thank for loving me and for providing for me.

Random Life Update

So I know that it has been over a month since I wrote on this thing and with that being the case, I wanted to take some time this morning and just give you one of those Random Life Updates!

There has been a lot that happened since the last time I blogged: we finished the first have of the school year for the ESBS, Christmas and the New Year has come and gone, I studied and studied and studied some more for my Leviticus teaching, there was a wedding in Florida and Caitlin comes to North Carolina for her second visit!

I am happy to say that the first part of the new semester at the ESBS is going well, the students are working on Deuteronomy and finishing a long and exciting look at the Pentateuch. I was given the privilege to teach the book of Leviticus and I was excited for that opportunity. It is something that I honestly didn’t think that I would ever do! I feel like God truly blessed me in my studies and my teaching. If you want to listen to it here is the link (http://www.esbsonline.org/audio-2011-12/). And all the studying for that is probably the reason why I haven’t written on this thing in a while!

For Christmas and New Year’s I was back in Texas spending time with family and friends and of course the most beautiful Caitlin Bailey! J We spent the Christmas holiday out in California and the whole Livingston side of the family was there. It was great to catch up with my Grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousin and my family! We got to do some awesome things in San Francisco which includes walking the Golden Gate Bridge and looking at some BIG trees!

My cousin got married last weekend down in Boca Raton, FL and it was a great time. I rode down from NC with my Aunt Mary and cousins Victoria and Josh. It is always great to spend time with them and just laugh and play. It was also great to see the Buwick side of the family and you know whenever we all get together it is going to be a party! I am praying for a happy and healthy marriage for Brian and Cori!

Miss Bailey gets in this afternoon and I am really looking forward to seeing her today! We have a fun few days planned and its just always nice to be with her.

This is the completion of my Random Life Update and I look forward to surprising you again with the happenings of Todd Daniel Livingston!

ESBS Financial Situation

Hey Everybody! As many of you know, the staff and the students here at the Emmaus School of Biblical Studies raise support in order to pay for their monthly needs, tuition and random life events. Last week in one of our prayer times, we came together and talked about where everyone was financially for the rest of this school year and we have some need.

I just wanted to write this post and put it out there that there is a need for financial support within the ESBS community. Right now we are in need of about $23,000 for student tuition for the rest of the year. Also, one of the staff members’ van just died and they are in need of help to raise funds to get a new one for their family of 6!

I do not want you to feel obligated to give, but I do ask that you will just be open to the Lord if he is asking you to do so. (If you do give, unfortunately it will not count towards a tax deduction, but it will go towards someone’s investment in the Bible!)

If you want to give you can write a check to: Camp Lurecrest Ministries and in the Memo line write: ESBS Student Tuition or Van Fund.

You can mail the check to:

Emmaus School Of Biblical Studies

207 Charlotte Dr.

Lake Lure, NC 28746

I appreciate all of you and I thank you for your continued support of me and the ministry that we are doing here!